Life is life though some times life is death or life is just living. BUT mostly life is life.
Life is Leadership.
Leadership is our relationship with relationships even with the dentist.
Today we went to the dentist, Kathryn and I.
Again, thank you for all the heart-felt support for Kathryn over the past several weeks. The delayed thank you notes still weigh on my mind in the midst thereof though I know there’s grace. Folks have wanted to know how she is doing. She is physically great! I am truly amazed at her recovery. Her brain is nuanced healing as well (you could not tell if you were not her mom or caretaker). AND that will continue to heal over time. So there is peace.
Kathryn had lost her two front teeth and other teeth had slightly shifted with the fall. Today, she got a clean bill of health! She will be okay!!! And kids teeth and x-rays are so fascinating. Also learned though we had the routine habit of her brushing her teeth as her foundation of becoming a healthy independent adult, it is my responsibility to practice the both/and with her until age 8. She “brushes” her teeth, then I BRUSH her teeth. She has two cavities to be filled as the consequence of close but not quite. All good. And she is all good.
Then there was me. You see, liminality can happen even with going to the dentist. For 20+ years, I had a very good dentist who then retired. I have strong, healthy teeth, but getting my smile picture perfect in childhood was not a priority for my parents, so I had been left with this nagging question of, “How do I steward my smile as a healthy, flourishing adult?”
Well, part of my family is caring for my 82-year-old mom, Jeanne. Her teeth have always been important and a cause of pain to her. So when my dentist retired, it meant hers did too. AND with the opportunities that happen in our sunset seasons of life, there has been an urgency of care she has needed versus my maintenance cadence. So it’s been a 2+ year liminality moment of “kissing” the proverbial dentist frogs. Research and development. There’s such a cost of frustration in the liminal moment, as it’s not clean. But I am happy to report we discovered Carolina Bright Smiles Dentistry. Not all dentists are the same. They have been amazing.
Why? They have great leadership. You could tell they lead with core values fit for their team. Everyone was kind and purposeful. They listened. They also understood capacity. Their systems incorporated technology and wisdom. They also built a practice that accommodated people’s fears, so I felt safe and not ashamed. Honestly, it was the most gentle and thorough dental exam I have ever had, AND it was the best too.
I have a complicated relationship with details. So I totally respect and love folks who are brilliant with them. Dr. Steve and team have mastered the dance of the smile and health and dentistry like none other, though I’ve met many very good dentists before.
So, what did that mean? They affirmed that I am a unicorn even with my teeth lol. I literally have no bite. They were like, “This is what they write up in dental journals.” I can function like everyone else; however, none of my teeth come together. So I am literally all bark and no bite lol! They were truly delighted at “solving” my mouth’s challenges, as how I steward it matters for when I get older. Traditional dental wisdom doesn’t apply to me. Go figure.
So I left with a plan that was simple to steward and complete peace to not create what I don’t have in efforts to be like everyone else. I also left with up-leveled tools. You see, I love having the right tools to steward well. So have a fabulous electric brush. However, the opportunity cost of that is that it cannot clean my whole mouth, which includes my tongue, effectively. So they gave me a metal tongue scraper that, as long as I maintain it, will last forever. As a coffee drinker, this is a key tool for maintaining the health and look of my mouth. Who knew? I didn’t until yesterday.
Sometime I will have to share how they brought peace to Jeanne too. I am grateful.
In some seasons, most any dentist will do. But in the season of nuanced clarity for healing hope, finding the right one has been such an incredible gift. Though the appointments, in the short-term, took up way more time than I allocated based on traditional dental experiences (that ounce of prevention always feels like a pound of cure in the moment), and it felt overwhelming in the midst of all the other urgent things in this moment, it was worth the cost.
Thank you Dr. Steve and team for modeling heart leadership.
