As I wrote my blog on courage, someone asked why I chose pictures of Ryn — my six-year-old.
Great question.
She is my truly fearless child. She lives gallantly from her heart.
One of the secrets of life is the skillset of paradox. It’s what allows transformation to happen.
My favorite subject in high school and university was chemistry, which fundamentally is the study of relationships in the natural world. Chemistry is paradox in science — opposing forces interacting to create something new.
The word paradox is rooted in Greek.
Para means beyond or contrary to.
Doxa means belief or expectation.
A paradox is two truths that appear to oppose each other but, when seen more deeply, reveal a deeper truth.
To unlock leadership and life, I’ve spent years learning to live inside paradox. Motherhood has become one of my greatest frameworks for cultivating that gift.
One paradox of life is that when a child earns their bike, they often appreciate it more than when it is simply given.
There is a proverb:
A hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.
I don’t fully understand the mystery of it, but I have experienced a lot of hope deferred. And when a longing is finally fulfilled, it seems to carry a different kind of gratitude — a preciousness that those who receive something easily may never quite know.
Sometimes I wonder what life would have been like if more things had come with ease.
Motherhood itself was one of those paradoxes for me.
For decades, it felt tied to finding Mr. Right. Then, when I was 36, a dear sister friend asked if I had ever considered adoption.
Long story short — including a proposal from someone I did not want to marry — I ended up adopting four embryos.
I gave birth to my son and daughter, genetic siblings who are not biologically related to me.
I wanted to be able to look them in the eye and say: you were my choice A.
Recently, I was able to share that with my son, who is now 11.
Part of this process included thawing my children, which is still a mystery my finite mind cannot quite fathom.
In the summer of 2019 — the same month I agreed to be president of my local EO chapter a year earlier than expected — the doctor showed me the two embryos they were implanting.
He pointed to one and said:
“See this one? This one wants to live.”
That embryo was Kathryn.
Five days old. About one hundred cells.
And even then, she radiated a “want to” that has marked her life from the moment I was pregnant to the six-year-old she is today.
Kathryn was born on March 16, 2020 — the very day the world entered quarantine.
Yet from the very beginning, she has carried a fearless “want-to-live” spirit.
Parenting, combined with my spiritual curiosity and love for science, has led me down paths exploring consciousness in ways I never expected. Watching my children grow — learning the essence of who they are as conscious beings — has become one of the most fascinating lenses through which I understand leadership.
Parenting is one of the most leadership-filled things we will ever do.
And how we parent our different children matters.
One of the leadership paradoxes I hold closely is this:
Truth one:
I am responsible for my decisions.
My son Viktor — yes, named Viktor, not Victim — is learning the courage to own his choices rather than simply follow peer pressure.
Truth two:
Where there is a multitude of counselors, there is wisdom.
Or as I like to say:
For every Olympian, there are eleven coaches.
Kathryn’s opportunity will be the other side of that paradox.
She must trust her powerful internal “want-to”…
and also learn to trust the wisdom of her coaching team.
My girl is internally motivated and confident like none other.
She once literally “Supermaned” off the stairs. A few months later, she broke her arm. Add stitches and a few bumps along the way, and you’ll get the picture.
She has no fear.
She owns her courage like none other I know — and she’s only six.
My role as her mom is to fan the flame of that courage so she never loses it.
And also to remind her of the other side of the paradox: she does not have to do life alone.
She has a team.
Both are true.
What Kathryn reminds me every day is that courage is not the absence of risk. It is the willingness to live from the heart while remaining teachable.
Leadership works the same way.
The strongest leaders hold both truths at once — deep inner conviction and the humility to listen to wise counsel.
Courage grows strongest when conviction and community walk together.
Where in your life right now are you being invited to trust your courage — while also leaning into the wisdom of your coaching team?
BTW… happy 6th birthday, sweet girl. Your courage makes the world brighter.
#CarpeDiemLeadership
#HeartLeadership
#StewardYourHeart